Letting. It. Go.

I never thought the day would come when I could say, “I’ve let the anger go.”  That day came around a month ago.  Through the words of others, and God leading me to the right places at the right time, I finally let go of anger I’ve held onto for months!

I had attended a one-day women’s retreat, not really knowing what to expect.  The topics of the day were about friendships and relationships, and forgiveness.  Easy enough to figure out why God had wanted me there!  Later that next week I attended two revival services, and again I heard about relationships and forgiveness.  Pile on what the study was over for BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) that week and I was getting a very clear message from God.

It was time for my feelings to catch up to my forgiveness!

I had harbored anger towards this person that had hurt me very deeply.  I was not ready to let go of that anger, although in my heart I had already forgiven.  I figured that I was just working through a broken relationship and I was in the anger stage.  Thing was, I was stuck there!  I wasn’t willing to let go and move forward, but God was pointing out that it was time.  Was I really ready for that step?  Over the course of five days God kept speaking to me, through various ways, that it was time to let it go.

It was during the altar call on Wednesday night, the last night of revival, that I knew it was time to let go of the anger.  I had held back long enough and I needed to let myself heal.  So up I went, with the person’s name written on a piece of paper, ready to let go of the anger and be freed.  I dropped the paper where those of us responding to the altar call were supposed to, then just kneeled at the altar and cried.  God took my anger from me and it was as if a hundred pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders!  I was free!

Letting go of anger isn’t easy, especially when it comes from extreme hurt.  Holding onto the anger was just hurting me more, allowing the person who had hurt me to still have some control over my emotions.  I knew that my anger would take control over me completely if I was to see this person again, and that I wouldn’t be who God wanted me to be towards them.  Thankfully, during this anger filled season, I never saw them.

God doesn’t want us to live in bondage to our anger.  Until I was ready to let go of my anger, I was going to keep dealing with extreme hurt that I wasn’t able to move past.  James 1:20 (NLT) says, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”  Really hits home with all I went through during this season.  So does Psalm 4:4 (NLT), which says, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you.  Think about it overnight and remain silent.”  I can only imagine the ways that I sinned because of my anger.  How many times do you think about the ways anger has caused you to sin?

Anger is a part of the grieving process, but we aren’t to stay there, in that stage.  We aren’t to let our anger have control of us and pull us away from the life God wants us to lead.  If God is asking you to let go of your anger, are you ready?  What is keeping you from letting it go?

I can honestly say that my life has been more peaceful since letting go of the anger.  I know that, should I ever see the person again that hurt me, I know that I won’t act out in rage.  I can’t worry about the chance of seeing her again, but trust in God that if I do, He will guide me to act in a way that pleases Him.

God, I give you praise for taking away all of my pent up anger and aggression.  I am a new person because of it!  For anyone reading this, I pray that they will release any anger felt towards someone to You.  That they will find healing and restoration for their soul.  In Your Son’s Name I pray, Amen.