I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written, but I finally felt the push to do so tonight. There’s so much that I want to write about, that I feel the Lord is putting on me to write, but I haven’t followed through.
Tonight, this is weighing heavy on my heart. This “I’m not alone” stuff. This is me being real about my Christian walk.
Do you ever feel completely alone in a crowd, like you’re completely invisible and no one sees that you’re there? That you’re even standing or sitting next to them? That you are only “seen” when someone needs something? That you just don’t matter to the people that you’re around? I’ve felt that way many times, in all different types of settings. Groups, get-togethers, fellowship times, and even at church.
This is a lie Satan loves to get hold of and use against me. Constantly saying “no one cares, no one wants to listen to your problems, you’re just seeking attention, you’ll become a burden” among other things. I’ve been told by people that I seek attention, that I need to stop self-serving, that I need to do something for others, and that I need to ask them about the things going on in their life and not always talk about myself. Satan feeds on that and loves it. It fuels him to use more lies against me.
So what do I do? I believe I’m on the right path with God, doing things for others, checking to see how others are doing, and doing my best to put myself dead last in my life. I lose touch with myself until I’m right back in that pit, wrapped in fear for speaking out truth about what’s really going on in my life. I lie to the very people I love about what’s going on with me. I wear a mask to hide the puffy eyes from crying, the frown from showing, the sadness from being known. I don’t reach out for help. I try to avoid talking about myself when I’m with a friend. I get angry with myself when I realize that I have been talking about myself. Isn’t that exactly where Satan wants me to be though?
Simply put, yes. The enemy has me right where he wants me. Now he makes me feel like I really am alone, that it’s just me and I have to deal with all of my problems on my own. There is no one left to turn to-well, except the enemy.
God speaks Truth against each of those lies from Satan. God promises to never leave you or forsake you. Galatians 6:2 tells us to “carry each other’s burdens”. I can’t carry all of my burdens while carrying the burdens of others. I have to ask for help and it’s okay to do so. When I’m able to see where I have gotten, He gives me the strength to reach out and will put someone in my path to ask for support. And how can I help anyone, show anyone love the way Jesus would, if I am spiritually broken?
In all of this though, God recently spoke a very clear blessing to me, one that I had not heard before. When I’m in those moments of not being able to turn to a person on this earth, it’s okay, because that means I have to put my complete and total faith in God. God is my Healer, my Counselor, and my Shepherd. He is what I have, He is all that I need. He has created us not to go through life without human interactions though, so have that in your life. Fellowship is important!
I know that I’m never really alone. The Bible clearly states that God will never leave me or forsake me. God is with me no matter where I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going, what I’m doing, what I’ve done, what I will be doing. God is there! What a blessing that is, that He is there when I need Him. I need something, God is there to ask, and to answer my need-of course, in the way He sees fit and of course in His timing. God reminds me of the good I’ve done for people, the ways that I’ve given myself to help them, unselfishly. God brings the truth, the light, into the darkness that has me surrounded.
Remember, you are not alone. God is with you, ALWAYS. Listen to the song “You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews. It’s my favorite song of hers, and one that I have put on repeat for a good hour or more.